Do Roman paramedics refer to "IV's"
as "4s"?
What do little birdies see when they
get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
War doesn't determine who's right,
just who's left.
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If a tree falls in the forest and no
one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an
orange?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word
"monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it re-search
when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what
do humanitarians eat?
Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial
ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead
to "cure" it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't
we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in garment bag
and put garments in a suitcase?
What is the speed of dark?
How come glue doesn't stick to the
inside of the bottle?
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat
food?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th
floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a chapter 11?
How can there self-help groups?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't
all gifts free?
After eating, do amphibians have to
wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If white wine goes with fish, do white
grapes go with sushi?
What's another word for synonym?
If someone with multiple personalities
threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, what
is written on their picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get
away from it all"?
When you're sending someone Styrofoam,
what do you pack it in?
Why do we play in recitals and recite
in plays?
What are Preparation A through G?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind
dogs?
If knees were backwards, what would
chairs look like?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls,
are you supposed to throw away the top one away?
When your pet bird sees you reading
the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there staring
at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 "ups?"
If an orange is orange, why isn't a
lime called a green, or a lemon called a yellow?
Why does your nose run and your feet
smell?
My school colors were "clear".
I stayed in a really old hotel last
night and they sent me a wake-up letter.
How much deeper would the ocean be
if sponges didn't live there?
It doesn't matter what temperature
a room is, it is always room temperature.
I played a blank tape on full volume.
The mime who lives next door complained.
Why do they lock gas station restrooms?
Are they afraid someone might clean them?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Why do you need a driver's license
to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way
it sounds?
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under
the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations
where smoking is prohibited?
Have you ever imagined a world without
hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow
get to work?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365
days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughs, does milk come out
of its nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how
do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?
If you are driving at the speed of
light and turn on your headlights, what happens?
Most packages say "open here",
but what's the protocol if it says open somewhere else?
Why do they put Braille dots on the
keyboard of a drive up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair
of glasses, and a pair of earrings, who don't they wear a pair
of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
Why is brassiere singular and panties
plural?
Why is it that when you transport something
by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something
by ship it's called cargo?
You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane
out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps
out of an airplane?
If a firefighter fights fires, a crime
fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
If con is opposite of pro, is Congress
opposite of progress?
If they squeeze olive oil out of olives, how do they get baby oil?